I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
