After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
