If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
