I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
