I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
