how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
