I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
