That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
