Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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