I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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