I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
