I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just found puke in my bra..
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
