So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
