i can't believe i had my finger in that
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
