well I can't set my house on fire every night
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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