Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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