It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
