Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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