3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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