I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
