R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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