I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
