is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
