i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
