my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Who died my cat blue again?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
