do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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