3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
