she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
