would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
