So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
