I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
