Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
