So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
