After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
