Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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