He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
