do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
