I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
