I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
