I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
