I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
