Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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