Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
