The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
