This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
