i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
