you didnt know i had herpes?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
