Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
