Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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