Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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