3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
