my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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