I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
