Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
