How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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