hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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