you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think your dad took our porno
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
