its not stalking. its research.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
