is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
