did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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