So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
