Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
