He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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