she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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